Today I made a salad full of lots of veggies, nuts, tuna, and homemade dressing. I wish I had taken a picture for you so you could see how good it was because I was pretty proud of myself.
And before you applaud my noble efforts for eating well, know that I made it because:
1) It felt good to do something kind, nourishing, and delicious for my body.
2) I was overcoming guilt about binge eating last night and this salad was my rebound.
Raise your hand if you know what it’s like to feel guilty about binge eating 🙋🏻♀️
Since I haven’t given an update recently here’s where my life stands: there are some weeks where my husband travels and I am very much in charge of 4 children. I still work from home seeing clients online and I have been working on a new program (see FREE class offer below!).
This year I also started doing health coaching and training in conjunction with Boulder Community Hospital for their staff. It has been a fun adventure and uplifting work that is new and challenging for me to help rise out of my comfort zone. You can see a sample of a recent video I did around Using Movement to Care for Your Nervous System HERE. A big part of me needs this new challenge for 2 reasons:
For the very first time all our kids are in school full time this year. Cue sadness.
I have been working through depression since moving nearly 2 years ago. Cue burnout.
Our baby started kinder, our middle started 3rd, and our twins started middle school. Moving to a new place shortly after closing a gym and completely changing my work life have taken a toll.
Getting back to that binge eating last night…
I have found in subtle ways a downward spiral in my thoughts and emotions about the aloneness and overwhelm that parenting and letting go can bring... plus a lot of grief.
Time flies so quickly and while I want to capture every second of this phase of our lives, I am starting to understand that the sadness is really just a reflection of my love for them. The confusion and self-doubt about my work have also been rooted in my deep desire to make an impact with the work I do.
Winne the Pooh once said,
““How lucky I am to have something that makes
saying goodbye so hard.””
And simply saying goodbye to each of the kids each morning certainly counts for me right now as a process that is hard.
So, in my grief and fatigue from parenting alone while Dan was gone this week and feeling overwhelmed with wanting to dive deeper into my work- but having uncertainty about where to start, I overate sugar (in my attempt to avoid wine) as a bandaid for my heart last night. Ugh. Please tell me you have done this too?
I needed comforting. And that’s OK. We all need comforting.
Blessing the part of us that needs to be nurtured and loved and seen is hard. For people who love to be the givers, it can be tricky to admit we have needs too. It’s often easier to judge ourselves, brush our hearts aside, and just focus on doing anything else to avoid making a request of someone or something in our lives to give to us.
Here are the 5 ways you can dim down burnout, feel the pain and avoid using quick bandaids that ultimately make things worse:
give yourself MUCH more grace than you ever have about not being productive in this season.
use gratitude in the moment every time you feel your thoughts slipping into sadness.
stop and become acutely aware of your 5 senses: what do I see, hear, smell, taste, and sense my body touching right now? (here’s a resource for you: 5 senses mind-body break)
reach out to friends for community and tenderness.
work out in ways that truly feel good. Walk, jog, dance, try a tai chi video, doesn’t matter. Just move.
I am giving you permission right now to take time and sit with your feelings and let them flow while you offer mercy and compassion to your hurting body & soul.
This is what I call Mothering. I do it for my kids, and MY heart and body need it too.
How will You mother YOU, and allow others to hold a space for you too?
With this in mind, I am doing something I haven’t done in a LONG time.
Please join me for a 1-hour Core & Restore Exercise Practice where we will move with intention to strengthen your core and raise awareness of your core values to direct you toward more peace, healing, focus, and joy in your life. See you at 9/28/23 at Noon MST on Zoom. This will be recorded so join me LIVE or when you can.
Can’t wait to see you there:)
My best,
Nicole