Sidelining negative emotions with one technique

This past week I have pondered the question of whether it is possible to think yourself out an emotional response. This is important to me as I examine my reaction to so many different things in my life, but specifically to how I react to stress. I tent to get anxious, overwhelmed, fearful and then completely disabled when stress mounts. After a chat with my pastor, he suggested I take a look at Cognitive Behavioral Therapy as a means to change my self-talk and create a different response to my habitual negative one. I have been introduced to this type of therapy through the WellCoaches training I am taking right now, but when I thought about it on a more personal level, it occurred to me that this therapy could be used to help people overcome negative habits of any kind. Relationship expert, Dr Alice Boyes, Psychologist suggests we list our negative thoughts or reactions and when they come up again we replace the thought for ourselves with a third person. It would look something like this.. Rather that hearing "You are a failure", you would replace the statement with an observation..."Oh there goes Susie again, she things I am a failure, but I know I am (replace with whatever positive truth you would like)." In this way we take out the emotion and allow ourselves to replace it with a thought is more rational and purposeful.

Another approach to derail the automatic emotional response is to immediately begin to "distract" the pattern by walking through a familiar process that brings you peace. For example, let's say you hear yourself thinking about how you feel disgusted with your late night eating and you start to berate yourself for having no will power. The moment you hear that, say to yourself "My emotions are lying to me", and then start to walk yourself through a process of something you love. Imagine every detail of the process. For me, I like to think about putting on my running shoes and going starting a run. I have to think through every step of opening up the laces, getting on my sock, sliding my foot in, tightening up each level, tying the bow and then the double knot...and so on. Once you get about half-way into the process, you will likely notice your emotional response has waned, and you can begin to think differently or react more rationally to your situation.

This may not work every time, but with practice, it can help get you started with changing you negative emotions so you can be empowered to create positive change!

Four Lessons to Succeed like an Olympian

Olympic hopefuls don't get to the games on accident.  Ride their wave of success with these four lessons: 1) “Discipline is remembering what you want” – David Campbell

Remember what you want: Too many times we talk ourselves out of things or allow the lull of the day to day to pull us away from working diligently toward what we really want. Figure out what you really want and don’t let the negative or your own laziness bring you down. Staying focused is one of the hardest things we can do in our age of distraction, busy-ness, and technology.

2) “There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.” - Edith Wharton

Surround yourself with winners: If you find it hard to stay focused on the positive, do everything you can to find others who can support you and who will remind you daily of why you are doing the tedious work to reach your goal. There are so many new ways to get involved, try MeetUp.com, join a local team, get training with a class, or find a buddy or coach to work with you. Give yourself a pep talk, watch an inspiring movie, or read an I-can-do-it quote or book. Even if it means you have to find a whole new group of friends or spend a little less time with family, it is worth it in the long run.

3) “Whatever happens, take responsibility.” -Tony Robbins

Take responsibility for your success or failure: Life can throw you curveballs, and I won’t even mention all the lemons we can be dealt. Our circumstances won’t always align to give us the perfect scenario for success, but by taking responsibility for our lives will always put us back in the driver seat and give us perspective to keep going.

4) “Practice is the best of all instructors” -Publilius Syrus

Learn who you are by applying yourself. The repetition of practice proves our character, helps build resilience, and will give us competitive fierceness beyond any other life lessons. We learn who we really are when the going gets tough, and we choose to get back up again!

So, here's the four questions you must ask yourself to apply what the Olympic mindset to your own life:

• What do you want?
• Who can you surround yourself with that wants it too?
• What successes and failures do you need to take more responsibility for?
• How can you applying yourself more regularly to access your greater potential?

Remember, “Champions aren’t made in the gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them — a desire, a dream, a vision.” ~Muhammad Ali