Thank God for the holidays.
While they’re exhausting and busy- I look forward to the pause in our lives so very, very much.
Right now, the last week of school before break is like watching paint dry. My kids are over school: they have finals for this quarter, they have been fighting off minor colds and sore throats for days, and they are ready for a break. And I’d like to raise my hand that I need that break too! (I bet you’re raising yours too!) 🙋🏻♀️
I’ve noticed in the last month or so how slippery my routine can become if I let even one thing fall off my radar of taking disciplined action.
“Discipline is “the quality of being able to behave and work in a controlled way which involves obeying particular rules or standards.” It conjures up the ideas of self-control and restraint.”
(training Ruby and ME!)
Don’t we all wish we were more disciplined?
I mean, why don’t we just workout when we know we need to?
When we fall short, we lose our restraint, or we let our standards drop for any reason, isn’t that when we also lose our sense of compassion and let those voices of contempt tell us we are failing again?
Having high standards is great. However, when I don’t or can’t follow my own perceived sense of rules about what I need to be doing or how I should be progressing, I forget that I am not always 100% in charge.
Life happens. Sickness and emergencies happen. Deadlines, forgetfulness, and fatigue all happen.
Compassion is the voice that tenderly wraps its arms around your shoulders and says, “There, there. All will be well. Take a moment to breathe, let yourself see a simple need and let it be met. Give yourself credit for what you are doing well. Then get back up again.”
The stressors in our lives aren’t always there to take us out.
The stress we encounter can make us stronger depending on how we face it and befriend it.
If we fight and punish or neglect our deepest emotions or needs for too long, the body will pay the consequence. It always keeps the score.
If we stop and attune to our hearts and really dig deeper for what is the kindest next best step, we can pass through the pain of stress with better resilience in the end.
This takes knowing yourself.
What are the major things you need to do nearly every day to keep your nervous system calm?
This past year, I’ve created a habit of listening to the bible every day. Just the sound of the readers voice helps me settle in and feel at peace.
For some people it is having a clean kitchen countertop.
For others it is getting their inbox to zero.
Do you think we all like to clear our email, do the dishes, or listen to a boring bible verse?
NOPE. But the benefit of how we feel after we do (some) of these things far outweighs the difficulty we have to force ourselves to do them.
This also takes honoring your body.
I woke up on Sunday in a frantic mess. I had a back-to-back schedule of things to do and I was behind on just about everything that needed to be done.
It felt like my body was about to erupt with anger, frustration and despair.
Sometimes it feels like this. Sometimes it feels like a wave of crushing fatigue. Sometimes I notice that no matter how hard I try, my mind won’t let go of critical thoughts.
These are all signals that it’s time to pay attention to what my body is saying and stop the madness. This doesn’t mean I necessarily stop my duties or cancel my events. It simply means I let go of some of my expectations, I ask for help, and I figure out what I really want to make matter most and let the rest go.
So, I may get in a short walk instead of a run. I may have to skip my shower in order to have a little extra time to stretch (yep, I do that more than I admit).
This also takes letting compassion pull me back into action.
The more I beat myself up for not being more disciplined the more I resist getting back to task. The more I laser focus on what helps me feel strong, organized, genuinely productive, and engaged with my life with eyes of compassion, the more I desire to do the hard things.
What are you doing to know yourself and your needs?
What are doing to honor and listen to your body?
And what are you doing to let compassion be the greatest force for your discipline?
Pick one of these questions and decide on one small action step you will take these last days of the year to make a shift. Choose something doable and small- but something that will truly make a difference for how you think, feel or act.
Mine? I am going to write something in my journal every day until 2024. Even if it is literally 3 sentences, I commit to writing.
2023 is nearly over. How are you feeling about the way you treat yourself inside and out? It can’t be all compassion or discipline. We want to live intentional (disciplined) lives full of joy (through compassion)- and that happens when you commit to doing the things that give you the outcome you desire.
Will you comment below with your commitment? I want to be supported by your energy and I want to encourage you too!!!!
P.S. I know you have a lot on your plate, but if this idea of compassionate discipline resonates with you, then you cannot miss my retreat on 1/20/24 in North Boulder or Online. Get all the details HERE!
