I was talking to a client this past week about the way life keeps moving forward at lightning speed. It often feels to me like it is easy to get lost in the current of time and end up feeling like so much changes so quickly without me even realizing my life has evolved without my consent.
It’s in times when I feel out of control that I most often feel like I suck at everything.
There will never be a single soul who is harder on me than I am on myself. Can you relate?🙋🏻♀️
→I am not fast enough you say? Must be because I am too fat.
→I am not smart enough you say? Must be because I am actually stupid.
→I am not skinny enough you say? Must be because I have zero self-control and I am ultimately lazy.
→I am disorganized you say? Must be because I can't handle life.
→I am too emotional you say? Must be because there is something wrong with me.
These thoughts have been mine. I know they have been yours.😥
When I first focused on running as my favorite thing, it was because it made me feel like I was actually doing something to run away from these vicious internal accusations. I was proud, I felt accomplished, I felt in control.
While running worked in a lot of ways to soften the voice of shame, it also created a bar of effort that I had to achieve in order to be acceptable for myself. If I wasn't running or doing well, I was back at ground zero- and sometimes worse because of how bad I felt when I wasn’t doing well at the one thing I really loved.
Years later, and as a mother now, I feel that at times about my mothering. I REALLY don't want to suck at raising my kids. And yet, I know that without a strong sense of self-love and compassion for my needs and heart- I cannot love them the way they deserve and need to be loved.
There is a little girl in me, and a little girl/boy in you who (even though you are an adult) still needs love, kindness, and care from you. Your little one inside needs your nourishing and gentle mothering love.
This doesn’t mean you lose your edge. It simply means you lean in from a place of love rather than fear and disdain.
For nearly all of my career, I have desired to help women and girls to manage their shame and to build their self-compassion and strength. With focus, you can build your confidence and self-love.
Thank God for my kids who have brought me new awareness about how to offer my heart self-compassion and to fight for my strengths to shine. They are my greatest teachers.
If you are struggling with how to even begin offering yourself compassion when the voices inside are beating you up then I challenge you to give this compassionate core breathing exercise a try. It is SO important to strengthen the deepest layer of your core with your breath to access the best of your body and soul.
Use this exercise (or any movement that feels good to you) to let your mountain mama strength rise up and speak love over your burdened heart and soul.
In light of all of this, I am offering a mini-retreat on January 20th 2024! I have been super excited about this event since I have not an in-person event in quite a long while. I would LOVE for you and your best girl-friends to join me. Be some of the first to register and you will get a BONUS from me! This retreat will be in North Boulder and Online.
